Rest assured that while the vampires may be after human blood, your sides will be safe from harm.
A Twilight pastiche with all the wit you'd expect from the makers of Scary Movie and Meet The Spartans.
It’s incredibly lazy although at least Vampires Suck looks like a real movie and not just the collection of sketches and celebrity impersonators usually trotted out.
It's distressing to think of anyone of an impressionable age going to see this; those of an unimpressionable age have no excuse.
It’s almost fascinatingly awful.
It’s teenagers that keep this franchise alive; if anyone else wants to take the risk, they should prepare to be like the undead, praying for the end to come.
It's not as bad as the pair's usual output - but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.
All you have to know about this spoof of the Twilight franchise is that it isn’t nearly as funny as the movies it’s attempting to parody.
Never mind vampires, it's movies like this that really suck.
Vampires Suck pulls off the extraordinary feat of making the original movies look inspired.
This is certainly their least awful effort so far.
It is a knowing film that knows nothing about comedy.
General release. Check local listings for show times.
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