The G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
Back in 2009, we experienced the first wave of a relentless fighting force known as GI Joe. You were Awol that summer? Not to worry, because GI Joe Retaliation isn’t so much a sequel as a reboot.
Jon M. Chu (Step Up 2: The Streets) has managed to produce something even more stupid than Stephen Sommers’ trashy first cinematic outing for Hasbro’s '80s action figures, but with added hatefulness.
Fast Five was a good example of how applying The Rock to a tired series could bring it back to life. G.I. Joe, by opting for self-seriousness instead of knowing daftness, has squandered its secret weapon.
It’s a marked improvement over the shambolic original, but G.I. Joe: Retaliation isn’t the fun actioner we were hoping for.
Worse than any of the Transformers films, worse than Battleship, worse even than its own barrel-scraping predecessor, GI Joe: Retaliation has the distinction of being the worst blockbuster ever made.
It displays a level of intelligence that will not tax a 12-year-old boy.
Johnson is charismatic and personable but deserves better than this lame and unexciting picture. Only one set-piece, a Crouching Tiger-style confrontation in the Himalayas, stands out.
This new G.I. Joe film may be even worse than the old one, and yet it is so utterly at peace with its own awfulness that it is somehow slightly easier to take.
It would be nice to report that this movie, based on the Hasbro toy soldier line, was amiably daft or engagingly silly. But actually it's dull and aggressive, steroidally humourless with a semi-coherent plot detour taking us among the ninjas of the misty/mystic Orient – all presumably to target Asian markets.
While GI Joe: Retaliation may still boast an overly indulgent running time and some ridiculous displays of gun fetishism and gung-ho patriotism, it’s a fun ride while it lasts.
Nothing in this film makes sense, to the point where you are unsure for most of the film whether one of the main characters is alive.
It's like the childhood dream of the president of the National Rifle Association.
General release. Check local listings for show times.
RSS feed of Cinema reviews