When a kingpin threatens New York City, a news reporter find a quad of mutants which makes an alliance to unravel Shredder's plan as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Frenetic, frictionless and fine for kids who don’t find a turtle lusting after a Fox to be unnerving.
Sadly, this reboot doesn’t really make much of a case for bringing them (or their “Cowabunga” catchphrase) back – although in truth they’ve never really been away, thanks to ongoing cartoons, animated films, comic books and endless merchandising.
This fast-paced slice of action adventure will satisfy fans but is as loaded with fromage as the film's much salivated over 99-cheese pizza.
Fun in parts but mostly big, dumb and LOUD, the new TMNT is essentially Transformers in a half-shell.
Heroes in a half-arsed shell.
Verdict: Troubling teen drama.
Producer Michael Bay’s attempt at repackaging the recurrent reptiles in live-action form is over-rehearsed, insubstantial, shiny and empty.
Those poor old Teenage Ninja Turtles should have been left tin hibernation.
The inevitable sequel could only be an improvement.
It’s all complete nonsense, of course, and the turtles themselves never quite come into focus as individual characters but a few exposition-heavy sequences aside it hurtles along engagingly enough.
Cowabunga? Cowabuggeroff!
General release. Check local listings for show times.