Plotline
A lord has assembled a talented group of opera singers to his estate to perform Mozart’s Cosi Con Tutti, but with nerves and sexual tension rife, will it all go okay? Bring forth the usual cast of characters: prima donnas, novices, mad rich producers, sex-starved starlets and screaming backstage personnel.
Review
First Night is a lousy film. It’s a master class in theatrical clichés and doesn’t contain one character who seems remotely real or sympathetic. And yet it is done so earnestly that you can almost hear the cast and crew whisper ‘love me, love me’ during the whole thing. It might be all heart, but it completely lacks a brain.
One has to wonder what made the producers back this film, because the script is rotten to the core: stilted dialogue, predictable plot points and shallow characters. If you don’t see where the film is going by a country mile, then you’ve been asleep. Of course, if you have fallen asleep, no one can blame you because there is little to hold your interest.
The cast are at least game and throw themselves into making the dire thing work, but really there is no rescuing this sinking ship. Of course, the two best performances are given by the estate itself and the dog. Not a good sign. And it’s also not a good sign when a film is chalk-full of sex scenes that are there basically to titillate the audience into thinking they should stay around for more. They shouldn’t.
First Night is perhaps best enjoyed by students looking for a new drinking game: take a hit at each cliché. I can promise you’ll be flying and having a better time than those staying sober.
Bottom line
First Night, and hopefully closing night. At least the music is lovely and the scenery (including the naked people) is pretty.
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